Smart Parenting: How to Talk to Your Kids About Social Media

Some kids want to act like spending time on social media is just like hanging a massive sign on their bedroom door with the words “KEEP OUT!” written on it. They want social media to be their own personal space. But the fact of the matter is, it’s not always a safe space.

Parents know the world of social media is the last place we should “keep out.” Social media allows our kids to communicate with friends and the rest of the world in ways that seem impossible to imagine even ten years ago. These countless connections make social media enticing and all-encompassing. This also makes it a massive arena to try to parent in. We know the dangers and we read the headlines. We want our kids safe, but kids want parents to leave them alone. What should parents do?

One thing to do: talk. Start talking, keep talking, and don’t stop talking. And listen (of course!). But maybe kids don’t want to have a conversation. “I know, Mom!” shuts down a conversation quickly, right? Of course, they ‘know!’ Kids can feel like social media exists as their area of expertise and parents can’t possibly understand it. They say they know the dangers and how to behave there.

     Most teens use some form of social media and have a profile on a social networking site. Many visit these sites every day.  There are plenty of good things about social media — but also many risks and things kids and teens should avoid. They don't always make good choices when they post something to a site, and this can lead to problems.  So it's important to talk with your kids about how to use social media wisely.                                                                           

     What's Good About Social Media.  Social media can help kids:  stay connected with friends and family, volunteer or get involved with a campaign, nonprofit, or charity. enhance their creativity by sharing ideas, music, and art. meet and interact with others who share similar interests.  communicate with educators and fellow students.   

     What's Bad About Social Media.  social media can be a hub for things like cyberbullying and questionable activities. Without meaning to, kids can share more online than they should. Most teens: post photos of themselves online or use their real names on their profiles reveal their birthdates and interests  post their school name and the town where they live.

     Tell your kids that it's important to: Be nice. Mean behavior is not OK. Make it clear that you expect your kids to treat others with respect, and to never post hurtful or embarrassing messages. And ask them to always tell you about any harassing or bullying messages that others post.

Think twice before hitting "enter." Remind teens that what they post can be used against them. For example, letting the world know that you're off on vacation or posting your home address gives would-be robbers a chance to strike. Teens also should avoid posting specific locations of parties or events, as well as phone numbers.

Follow the "WWGS?" (What Would Grandma Say?) rule. Teach kids not to share anything on social media that they wouldn't want their teachers, college admissions officers, future bosses — and yes, grandma — to see.

     Use privacy settings. Privacy settings are important. Go through them together to make sure your kids understand each one. Also, explain that passwords are there to protect them against things like identity theft. They should never share them with anyone, even a boyfriend, girlfriend, or best friend.

Don't "friend" strangers. "If you don't know them, don't friend them." This is a plain, simple — and safe — rule of thumb.

     Make a Contract.  Consider making a "social media agreement" with your kids — a real contract they can sign. In it, they agree to protect their own privacy, consider their reputation, and not give out personal information. They also promise not to use technology to hurt anyone else through bullying or gossip.

In turn, parents agree to respect teens' privacy while making an effort to be part of the social media world. This means you can "friend" and observe them, but don't post embarrassing comments or rants about messy rooms.

Parents also can help keep kids grounded in the real world by putting limits on media use. Keep computers in public areas in the house, avoid laptops and smartphones in bedrooms, and set some rules on the use of technology (such as no devices at the dinner table).

And don't forget: Setting a good example through your own virtual behavior can go a long way toward helping your kids use social media safely.

Written by: Centralcity.londini